Currently preparing for my doctoral defense (14 April), I believe that I am at the most critical stage of my life. This defense is going to be the mother of all exams. I am quite nervous yet anxious to face the music finally. It has made me think about the whole process and an equally important question - whether I am ready for the industry?
When I started Ph.D., I was warned by many friends working towards their Ph.D.s that it is a very tough and arduous path. People go crazy and sometimes think of doing the unimaginable. Even though I have strong will-power, I never thought that I am above all or these things would/couldn't happen to me. So I was uneasy at the start and I thought the qualifying examination would be a good milestone to decide if I could do it. I dedicated three months to preparation, turned sober for this period (friends did not like it) and passed the exam. It gave me the much needed confidence and realization that it was not that bad after all. Next two years were quite different. I experienced many events and emotions; had many set-backs and success while doing research but I knew that I am almost there. So when I am thinking about last three years today, I think that the process was not as tough for me as I imagined at the outset, rather it was more tiring and frustrating to an extent. The key reason being, I have been in graduate school for almost six years now, more than any person I know. While I was sharpening my academic knowledge all my friends were doing real jobs and doing real stuff. These friends from school and college have been working for 2-6 years, almost all are married and even 'lucky' few have kids. As stupid as it may sound but I do compare my life at this point with them and find myself behind. To my comfort my good friend SONA keeps telling me that I have achieved a lot more than them and even before turning xx. Well, I feel happy for that.
So knowing that I already have a job to begin as soon as I am done here, friends (some are students, some are working) have told me that I would miss this student life. But they get surprised when I say that I won't (with confidence). What am I going to miss - going to bed late, those lazy weekends, hanging out with friends, the parties, carefree days in general or is it just this fear of getting out in the real world and being responsible/accountable that keeps most of them longing to be students forever. The thing is I want to be taken as a responsible/accountable person, I want to be taken seriously for my knowledge and skills or else all this hard work so far will be useless. The annoying part is that most people don’t realize that this not-being-student phase won’t be the first time for me as I have worked in India and USA. Also my expectations in life might be different from theirs. Or may be I am not a nostalgic person as I hardly look back, mostly don’t look at the pictures of the most fun parties or camping or road trips I made. And finally haven’t I had enough of carefree life, I think it is time to get serious.
