Indians Abroad

Interestingly one could see 3 phases in any Indian’s (Desi) life abroad (whether they live in US/UK/Europe/Australia). For your convenience I am using the US.

Phase - I - Symptoms

Landing in US…

- Becomes very homesick, calls home twice a day (Consistent source of income for AT &T, Pac Bell, Reliance etc).

- Runs around for desi food.

- Thinks all the females are chicks as shown in English movies.. gets the first hand experience of macho people.

- Asks for bus routes

- Can be located in malls with popped up eyes

- Looks for 'S' sized T shirt in the boy's section

- Looks at all the cool cars as if he could swallow with eyes.

- Converts every spending dollar into rupees

- Roams every bit of Safeway/Albertson’s/longs

- Tries to cook at home.

Phase - II - Symptoms

Settles in a bit…

- Has multiple calling cards and knows which one to use, factoring time and day :) By this time calling home frequency dries down, may be weekly once/twice

- Have a real white Nike/Adidas hike shoes- discusses with friends about the car to buy. (Everybody in the office will know that our man is trying to buy a car)

- Settle for a Civic / corolla, since they are best desi cars

- Buys a Costco card

- Starts to compare India-US for every petty thing

- Crib about the cashiers in stores, compare them with Indian petty store owners.. how quick they were in counting chillers.

- Every month, checks the balance and equate it to what it can buy in India

- Look for exotic locations with in city/USA (you know what I mean right?)

- Starts asking for 'Bud'

- Starts searching for a bride from India and gets married.

- Scans every weekly supplement sale and garage sales in and out.

Phase - III - Symptoms

Real confusion begins here…

- Drops all the calling cards, stick to a phone line. Says line has better clarity.

- Thinks about getting a bigger/powerful car

- Starts spending weekends mostly at home and frequently visits jacuzzi

- Pastes the country's flag on car

- Wonders whether he should apply for a permanent residency?

- Asks the guys whether he would get a job if he goes to India (Welcome to reality dude)

- Tries to affiliate himself to the local groups (Non desi groups, to be specific)

- Watching Indian movies/wearing Indian dress becomes a fashion statement

- suddenly, opportunity becomes oppor-tune-ity! India becomes eendya!! often becomes of-ten !!!- Tries to talk in mother tongue with kids, gets shocked when they refuse!

- Thinks about going back to India, always; in fact it becomes a thread in the mind that runs in the background!!

Do you have your own desi observations?